If you ever thought about making a porn film on your own but were wondering if you’d be capable of pulling off something decent, the answer is yes. Desire is what it takes. And if you’ve already done a couple, but they didn’t turn out quite like you had imagined in your head, don’t desperate: try again. Glory can be waiting right around the next hole (cause it’s definitely not in this pun).

Just the fact you want to film a porn scene already means that you might have something different to say – and this alone should be a huge step into “fuck yeah I’ll do it!”. You might need a tip or two, of course – and that’s what I’m here for. I would never tell you what to do – the true value of a good erotic production is the uniqueness in it; and that’s only possible when the director thinks freely to do whatever he feels it’ll work better. Still, practice precedes perfection, and there are a few useful tricks to know prior.

1. Have a cameraman

A backstage picture for Noel Alejandro’s Doing Elliot

Or camerawoman or any gender of your choice (how long until we replace all this “man” with “person”? Cameraperson, handyperson, salesperson, for Maura Pfefferman’s safe). Anyways, have someone to actually film the movie while you take care of everything else. Sometimes subjective takes (when you do it in first person) can be great for the story and print a much more emotional aesthetic – just make sure that you have someone to help you when deciding to use this method. It’ll make your life much easier.

2. Don’t underestimate lighting

Lightning was a must on Noel Alejandro’s Trivial

Everyone knows natural light is always my first choice, but sometimes it isn’t an option. In those cases, make sure to have a strong focus to your scenes, or you might end up with a blurred footage – or super dark, which is something that not even the best colorist in the world can fix.

3. Resist the “over-editing” temptation

It’s likely that performers will say things to one another during the sex, or in between scenes. Do not cut those lines when you’re editing! There’s a huge value in those, and their verbal expression will make the viewers relate a lot more with the scene. If you think it might confuse the scene, a good option would be not to subtitle it – but always think twice before cutting everything off. Same thing goes for those moments where there’s no explicit sex, they can add a whole significance to the story and you would miss a lot by cutting those.

4. Drink in the “camera-power” moments

Being in front of the camera makes everyone feel empowered. That makes you do things that you wouldn’t normally. And not because you don’t want to, but because you want it too much! So bring toys, accessories, or anything that would help your performers manifest their fetishes. Nipple clips are just the beginning.

5. The KISS rule

Kissing is mandatory for a satisfactory sexual encounter, why would you skip it in your porno? A caption of Noel Alejandro’s Call me a ghost

The cinema productions in Hollywood (and everywhere) follow this rule, which turned out to be real gold in the porn world as well: it’s called KISS and it means Keep It Simple, Stupid. Don’t overcomplicate things. Think of a simple edition and make sure to execute it like a pro – at least until you’re ready to play David Lynch.

6. Delete the whole thing

Or it WILL end up in someone else’s screen. Although… that would be the real glory, wouldn’t it?